How Texas chooses its running backs…
In the back of the UT locker room, 4 guys sit at a table with Cheetohs and most are drinking water. One is drinking Sunny D.
Vondrell McGee: “Ok, one more game, then I really want to go lift.”
Colt McCoy: “Wussy. You’re just mad because I have a better understanding of the game than you.”
Foswhitt Whittaker: “Dude, we’re playing –”
McCoy: “I’m the STARTING QUARTERBACK of TEXAS. I’m practically Heisman gold, so don’t feel bad. There’s a lot of work that goes into all of this.”
Chris Ogbonnaya: “We know, Colt. We know.”
McCoy: “Look, you guys shouldn’t even pretend that you’re letting me win. It’s clear that I know everything about this. Remember that time I read zone coverage on the corner blitz against Ohio State?”
Whittaker: “Didn’t you throw a pick that play?”
McCoy: “NOT IMPORTANT. What’s important is I read the play, just like I’m reading how to beat you guys right now. And this time I get to be red.”
Ogbonnaya: “You’re always red. You’re red right now.”
McCoy: “NOT IMPORTANT. I GET TO BE RED. I’M THE STARTING QUARTERBACK FOR THE UNIVERSITY OF TEXAS.”
[After a McCoy blowout, where he slams both hands against the tail of the hippo while everybody else sees how rhythmically they can tap it with their pinkie and dream about playing next to a legitimate quarterback.]
McCoy: “Hah you wussies. I told you I’m the best.”
Ogbonnaya: “Alright, that’s it. Now let’s go do something productive.”
McCoy: “SHUTUP OGBIE. This is productive, it’s letting me determine who will stand by me the best.”
Whittaker: “This is bullshi-”
McCoy: “FUDGE YOU WHITTAKER. I’m the STARTING QUARTERBACK OF THE UNIVERSITY OF TEXAS. I could get any girl I wanted, and some guys too, as soon as I sexually mature. See this facial hair? THIS SCREAMS HEISMAN.”
McGee, remaining quiet during this episode, has been selected as the starter.
Lol, Texas.