Ant and the GrassHopper
Meezy forwarded this to me (not in support, probably more in a “oh-holy-crap-people-are-stupid” sort of note):
The ant and the grasshopper
This one is a little different…Two Different Versions! Two Different Morals!
OLD VERSION: The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed.
The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.
MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself!
———————- ———————
MODERN VERSION:
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.
Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving.
CBS, NBC, PBS, CNN, and ABC show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video o f the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food. America ’s stunned by the sharp contrast.
How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?
Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper, and everybody cries when they sing, ‘It’s Not Easy Being Green.’
Jesse Jackson stages a demonstration in front of the ant’s house where the news stations film the group singing, ‘We shall overcome.’ Jesse then has the group kneel down to pray to God for the grasshopper’s sake.
Nancy Pelosi & John Kerry exclaim in an interview with Larry King that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his fair share.
Finally, the EEOC drafts the Economic Equity & Anti-Grasshopper Act retroactive to the beginning of the summer.
The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the government.
Hillary gets her old law firm to represent the grasshopper in a defamation suit against the ant, and the case is tried before a panel of federal judges that Bill Clinton appointed from a list of single-parent welfare recipients.
The ant loses the case.
The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits of the ant’s food while the government house he is in, which just happ ens to be the ant’s old house, crumbles around him because he doesn’t maintain it.
The ant has disappeared in the snow.
The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident and the house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the once peaceful neighborhood.
MORAL OF THE STORY: Be careful how you vote in 2008, McCain and Jesus Rule!
This one is a little different…Two Different Versions! Two Different Morals!
OLD VERSION: The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed.
The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.
MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself!
———————- ———————
MODERN VERSION:
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.
Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving.
CBS, NBC, PBS, CNN, and ABC show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video o f the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food. America ’s stunned by the sharp contrast.
How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?
Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper, and everybody cries when they sing, ‘It’s Not Easy Being Green.’
Jesse Jackson stages a demonstration in front of the ant’s house where the news stations film the group singing, ‘We shall overcome.’ Jesse then has the group kneel down to pray to God for the grasshopper’s sake.
Nancy Pelosi & John Kerry exclaim in an interview with Larry King that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his fair share.
Finally, the EEOC drafts the Economic Equity & Anti-Grasshopper Act retroactive to the beginning of the summer.
The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the government.
Hillary gets her old law firm to represent the grasshopper in a defamation suit against the ant, and the case is tried before a panel of federal judges that Bill Clinton appointed from a list of single-parent welfare recipients.
The ant loses the case.
The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits of the ant’s food while the government house he is in, which just happ ens to be the ant’s old house, crumbles around him because he doesn’t maintain it.
The ant has disappeared in the snow.
The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident and the house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the once peaceful neighborhood.
MORAL OF THE STORY: Be careful how you vote in 2008, McCain and Jesus Rule!
——-
It’s hilarious how short-sighted people can be, and sadly the effect is only magnified in an election. This is obviously a bunk email, but why? Doesn’t it describe what happened? Clearly the ants (hard working, white Americans) have done all the heavy lifting and now those damn non-white, “different,” lazy people who didn’t prepare for an economic downturn are begging the ants for money and food.
It’s entirely their fault that they didn’t prepare. And their poor work ethic is just proof that god didn’t want them to come to heaven, and wants them to starve. Seriously grasshoppers, where’s your damn Puritan work ethic? Oh, you’re Catholic? That’s clearly the problem.
Lost in all of this contrast that really isn’t that impactful (Catholic? Puritan? you’re worshipping something that isn’t there; green? red? poor? rich? you’re both people) and all of this name dropping that surely will polarize people (because Bill and Hillary Clinton and John Kerry had so much to do with our current economy) is how the story really went.
Several big ants, who show up to church every Sunday and sing the same songs the author of this email does, went and found a whole bunch of grasshoppers, who generally don’t have homes or food stores. They told the grasshoppers, “check this out, rates are really good right now, you should buy into our homes and food stores.” Seeing something that looked good for their entire grasshopper family, the bugs obliged, and boom, looked like they were set for the winter. Not explained in the sale was how the rates would likely go up, or how there was a housing bubble that would likely pop and would significantly devalue their food stores. Emphasis on: “you’re good. This will help your family!”
As this looked to be incredibly profitable, and big ants could go and sell the liens on the homes and food stores to even bigger, more church-going ants, things looked to be going really well. Clearly, The Jesus was rewarding them for their beliefs. Yay Jesus!!!
But then interest rates went up, and grasshoppers (who were being conned the whole time) realized they couldn’t pay, and stopped. And then the ants realized they were a little bit fucked, and asked for money.
And then, since the ants were all good church people, it *clearly* couldn’t have anything to do with them that the economy was going in the toilet. Why should grasshoppers get any help (hint: they aren’t)? This is all their fault. McCain and Jesus 2008!
What’s lost in all of this story telling is we’re all people (or, in this case, bugs). Why is it necessary to highlight the differences and justify punishment through those? Why can’t we just say, “wow - this is a little bit everyone’s fault, let’s work together, get it fixed, and get on our merry way?”
Was there some greed that caused a problem? Yes. People in high positions make mistakes, and we feel them more than when a guy down the street makes a mistake. See: current economy, Iraq war, Clinton cheating on his wife.
Somehow, by blaming *only* the grasshoppers in this case, people can weave a tale and then nonchalantly drop the non sequitur: “McCain and Jesus rule!” This doesn’t have anything to do with Jesus. Even if he were a deity, it wouldn’t matter. This has to do with failed economic policies and a lack of oversight, and lots of stuff that I don’t fully understand, and you don’t either.
However, I’ll say that I think the football coach who blames his players needs to be fired just as badly as the president who blames his people. And I’d argue that firing someone means you don’t want to hire an almost-identical replacement. And Sarah Palin thinks people rode dinosaurs to work, which automatically means she’s not fit to have ANYTHING to do with science education. And Ralph Nader is a joke. Therefore, vote Obama in ‘08.
Jody Smith said:
Nov 03, 08 at 1:10 pmIt is humorous when you say it is everyone’s fault (all people) but yet at the end of your message you divide Obama and Mccain making it sound like it was Mccains fault, so now you need to vote for Obama. Facts prove that Obama knew all about Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac. I even knew about it two years ago. Americans are smarter than this.Your words are very well spoken, but we’re is your logic.
terry said:
Nov 03, 08 at 1:20 pmClearly you didn’t read the final paragraph. I said that McCain is similar to Bush. Bush is responsible for a lot of this calamity. Why continue down the same path?
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Further, I’d argue that the onus is on the banks that made irresponsible loans with our money, contributing significantly to this crisis.
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Hilarious from your comment is that in 2 years as a junior senator, Obama was meant to push through legislation to regulate banks? In a Bush White House? That’s a bullshit talking point, at best.
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Lastly, it’s “where” and “McCain.” Call me a pedant, but it’s not rocket surgery.